Screaming In Space

Many people, including therapists and psychologists, say that, when you’re angry and can’t hold in your anger, that you should punch a pillow, or tear a small stack of paper into confetti-sized pieces. This, however, can train you to become violent when you’re angry, which is the last thing anyone, including the people you know, want. In fact, especially the people you know.

First, your punching pillows. Then, you’re punching holes through walls. After that, well, the violence might never end, and might instead spread into your relationships.

Yelling into nothingness is much, much safer.

Go up to your room, close the door, and yell as long and as loud and as hard as possible. Open your mouth, and scream like you’ve never screamed before. No words. Just sound. The angrier you are, the louder and more forceful the scream will be.

Why scream?

It’s a nonviolent way to punch a pillow.

When your emotions are bottled up and shaken, not allowing yourself to explode will cause you to burst. Bursting your emotions out of your body could end up with violence rather than ending with reason, which is difficult to muster when you are angry. The angrier you are, the stronger the outburst.

That is why, going outside, if you live in the middle of nowhere, or going to your room, any room, that’s safe to scream in, will uncap the bottle without allowing it to explode. Explosions of anger, especially because anger is the hardest emotion to control, can be the most destructive. You could end up with a fist through a door, or a kick through a wall. You could end up hurting those you love.

Yelling, at the top of your lungs, allows the steam out of a shaken bottle without allowing that bottle to explode. Not only is it nonviolent, but that sudden outburst opens that bottle. I’m not telling you to yell at those you love. Not only will that breed anger on top of anger, but you might yell words you do not mean.

What I’m saying is that, going to another room, and allowing yourself to go, ‘Aaaaaah!’ at the top of young lungs, will let out whatever fury you’re holding inside so you don’t hurt yourself… and you don’t hurt the ones you love.

Then, as soon as you feel better from letting the rage out, give yourself a few seconds. Count down from ten if you need to, and rejoin the conversation once you’re ready to have that argument. As long as you feel calm enough, the argument can be settled. 

This might sound strange, but if the person you’re having that argument with looks more angry than you are, and looks like they might burst, tell them to yell as loud as their anger permits. Allow them to stand there and go, ‘Aaaaaaah!’ That anger that was building up inside of them will not only drain, but you might find each other laughing at the argument and being able to have a discussion without all of the animosity, simply by allowing each other to laugh at anger.

Allowing laughter during a huge argument will not only drain it of animosity, but will also help the people involved in the fight to calm down enough to actually talk, rather than yell and throw insults. Yes, this article is about yelling, but not about yelling at each other. Sometimes, when you’re angry, you can say things you cannot take back, which is one of the reasons why it’s so important to diffuse a situation before it gets that far.

Allowing the other person to scream can help them as much as you excusing yourself so you can go into another room and, well, scream. Nobody wants to be around someone who’s full of animosity, so allowing it out of your body, instead of bottling it up and adding more and more shaking to what’s already shaken, will allow the fizz to diffuse instead of going, ‘Pop!’ 

Nobody wants to go, ‘Pop!’

It’s not a fun feeling, and always ends badly.

If you can diffuse a situation before it gets out of hand, you should, and you must. Yelling and screaming into thin air or into space is an excellent way to do so. Don’t allow the bottle to be shaken too much.